Absurdly Optimized
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Overview
Systematic reviews of things that do not need systematic reviews. We read the papers, run the numbers, and spend an indefensible amount of time on each of these so you do not have to.
News
Why every kitchen funnel drips
We applied the Hagen-Poiseuille equation to kitchen funnels and discovered that flow rate scales with the fourth power of spout diameter. A 56% increase in bore width means a six-fold increase in jam throughput. The physics are unambiguous.
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How much fire your fingers can feel through
Insulation and dexterity are the same variable pulling in opposite directions, and most grill gloves resolve it by making you clumsy. I worked the conduction math, the burn threshold, and the whole leather-versus-silicone field to find the one that doesn'
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The geometry of boiling spaghetti
A strand of spaghetti is 26cm long. Your pot is 20cm wide. The geometry of cooking pasta without a stockpot requires trigonometry.
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The headache arrives three hours late
Sweat carries away more water than salt, so a long hot day leaves your blood concentrated rather than diluted. Drink plain water afterwards and you fix the concentration, switch off thirst, and urinate the rest, which is roughly how you end up in a dark r
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A plastic wrap showdown
PVC clings. LDPE tears. PVDC blocks oxygen. We tested the chemistry, cling force, and plasticizer safety of every food wrap still sold in America.
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