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News
Report: Nation's women fucking exhausted
A new report has found that Australian women are "fucking exhausted". This comes after a week with news including multiple teenage boys arrested over alleged rapes, a story of an alleged rape of a woman on a walk, a woman allegedly killed by a man she kne
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Wong declares Israeli ambassador will no longer be given cake to take home after meetings
Foreign Affairs Minister Penny Wong has once again expressed her famous 'concern' with Israel after the nation confirmed they won't pursue any criminal charges against those who killed Australian aid worker Zomi Frankcom and her colleagues. Wong rejected
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'The real victims of alleged sexual assaults are the footy finals' declares media
After multiple Sydney Swans players were questioned by police over an alleged sexual assault, the nation's media have spoken out in support for who they see as the victim: the footy finals. "Our thoughts are with the footy ladder at this time," said one p
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PM denies gambling donation addiction affects his judgment, "I can quit any time"
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has rejected suggestions that his party's addiction to gambling donations is having any impact on why he refuses to ban gambling advertising. The PM expressed frustration at 'nagging' voters who want him to kick his gamblin
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"There's no need to restrict camera glasses," says local pedophile
While many have called for new 'smart glasses' with hidden cameras to be restricted or banned, one local community has defended the controversial glasses: the nonce community. "There is a lot of hate for these glasses but I think they are great," he said,
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Single woman wishes men knew how to ask questions the way the Census does
Single woman Lavender Jones has been left feeling giddy after finally finding something that asks her questions, the Census. This comes after years of dating men who barely even bother to organise dates, let alone show any interest during the dates. "The
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ABC ombudsman replaced by a text chat with Rinehart and Murdoch
ABC boss Hugh Marks has announced yet another major shake up at the public broadcaster, declaring the independent ombudsman which evaluates complaints will be replaced with a group chat with Gina Rinehart and the Murdoch family. This follows a series of c
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Self-proclaimed 'good man' weirdly mad whenever women say we need to combat domestic violence
Local 'nice guy' Jeremy Jameson has gone on a social media rampage after a woman suggested that we as a society need to do more to stop the gendered violence crisis. The rampage started after seeing people respond to the latest of seemingly never ending a
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Jetstar introduces 'sitting inside the plane' fee
Jetstar has announced a new $400 fee for those who want to sit inside the plane instead of holding on to the outside. The airline has denied the new fee is about earning more money, instead explaining that it is designed to help passengers who struggle pi
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"Political debate is under attack" says party who bans any outlet that asks tough questions
One Nation have labelled protests outside their meetings as a threat to 'political debate', a claim party leaders made at a press conference where multiple major outlets were banned for reporting that One Nation didn't like. This comes after The ABC was b
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